I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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