You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
