What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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