The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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