Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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