My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have post one night stand depression
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
