Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
