I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
