Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
