wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think I died a long time ago.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
