There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
smell my finger.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
