why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
