when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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