so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
3pm strippers are depressing
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
