We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize