i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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