Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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