Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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