so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
