I showed him my bush... on skype.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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