My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
