So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
