Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
this is an emotional support booty call
not ubering you a puppy
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