But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Say something about gay babies.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
