what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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