apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
