I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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