My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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