Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dicks are not precious.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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