There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize