There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
