I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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