he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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