"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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