My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
