We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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