He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
