what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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