I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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