so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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