just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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