I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
