we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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