we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
