the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
