Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
how does that bad decision feel?
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