I'm going to jail i love you
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
only you would photoshop your dick
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
