i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
