New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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