halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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