butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We just shotgunned beers for America
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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