she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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