yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
