I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
