haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
