my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
