Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
