Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
