ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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