dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
