I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
