i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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