Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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