TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He better not be in your backpack
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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