Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
