the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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