Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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