do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
